Home is not always where the heart is...

After the longest two days of my life, after exhausting all of my tears, and being stuck in Amsterdam for nine hours, and then being rerouted to Minneapolis and having to spend the night there, after having used all of our free airport food passes, and wondering where on earth our luggage possibly was, we made it. We were all, tired, cranky, dirty, and most of us were ready to be there. Was I glad to see my family? Sure. Was I glad to be off that damn plane? Absolutely. Did I want to jump back on it the second I got off. Undeniably, yes.
But, I was home. I was back in the land of no happily ever afters. The real world, my friends, is a cruel, heart breaking town. The second I got home, I rushed to my computer, heard those three little words, "you've got mail," and I cried for the zillionth time in two days. He had already emailed me three times telling me how much he missed me and loved me and how beautiful I was and I couldn't wait to talk to him. I only had to wait 2.5 months and then I would see him again. All I had to do was be content until then. Sounds easy, right? Well, its not. We emailed everyday and talked on AOL instant messenger. We wrote each other letters, and sent each other packages. He sent me a Darius CD and told me the song "Colourblind" made him think of me everyday. Even to this day when I play that song, I am back in Scotland and I am in love.
The time actually passed very quickly and before I knew it, it was time for him to be with me. I was in my sophomore year of college and I couldn't make it to the airport. But, I came down and hung out with him as much as I possibly could while he was in town. I helped backstage at the show, and I spent every second with him that I could. At the going away party for the Scottish clan, it was just as it had been in Scotland. We danced, kissed, cuddled, and nothing else mattered. He told me that he had been planning to ask me to marry him, but everyone convinced him not to. My heart almost stopped beating when I heard this. Of course I would marry him, how dare they tell him not to ask me. Yes, it would have been hard, and no, I probably wouldn't have finished college, but hey I'm a waitress, you don't really need a college degree for that. I felt as if I had just been given the Dementor's kiss and I would never be cheerful again.
They left to go back to Scotland, and once again I was heartbroken, sad, and lonely. And then I did something stupid. Really really stupid, and to this day I have not quite gotten over it.