The daunting wedding dress

After my Scottish guy's visit, we kept in touch, but the emails were fewer and more far between. We rarely called one another and I assumed that he had moved on and had probably found some other girl to love and be sweet to.
Though my parents hated it, we proceeded with the wedding plans. My mom and I went to a small bridal boutique in Dyersburg, TN and we found my perfect wedding dress. It had been custom made for a girl who had wanted a spring wedding, but then they had postponed until fall. I should have found out if she actually got married, because it seems that this dress might possibly have been cursed.
Nothing was going the way I wanted it to be. Nothing at all. I wanted to spend one night in the Peabody Hotel in Memphis before going to the Virgin Islands. Instead, we were planning to spend one night at a mosquito infested B & B in north Mississippi before going to Pensicola, FL. I wanted to have a BBQ catered rehearsal dinner, and instead we were having a Pot Luck. I wanted to have five bridesmaids, but instead I was having six because Mississippi man's sister, whom I did not get along with, had pitched a fit that I didn't ask her to be in the wedding. I wanted to wait until after my 21st birthday so that I could have a drink at my own wedding, but since I was engaged to a youth minister, there would be no drinking... or dancing at the wedding anyway, so why should we wait. I wanted red velvet cake... blood red... but the father of the groom, who was making the cake insisted that he would not make a red velvet wedding cake.
Mississippi man and I fought from the second he put that ring on my finger, and it seemed that I could never win.
Once, while I was at his parents' house for the weekend, we got into a HUGE battle, regarding every single little detail of the wedding, of our lives, of the way he spent money, of our kids' lives, who mind you, did not exist. Finally, I told him that when I walked into the reception hall before the wedding and I cut into that cake and it was not red velvet, then I was just going to get into my car and take myself to the airport and buy a ticket to the Virgin Islands. Then I said that we should just postpone the wedding. I had had enough and I was done fighting about it. "Hold everything," I said, "do not put down any more deposits. I'm Done."
Then I got in my car and drove the 45 minutes back to campus. We struggled with our engagement and our pending divorce for far too long. Months of fighting over the stuff that is supposed to be the easy part, and neither of us willing to back down. Finally, a month before the inital date of the wedding, at two in the morning, I was lying in bed wide awake. I prayed to God that he would break up with me, for hours I had been praying this prayer. Finally, as if God had slapped me in the face, I knew that he never would.
So, I picked up the phone and I called him, because it felt as if it were a matter of life or death. He answered the phone and I told him I had been doing some thinking. Now, I would just like to say that Hollywood has a way of even making break ups seem romantic...because there always seems to be someone waiting in the wings. That was not the case with this one.
ME: I've been doing some thinking
Mississippi man: Just tell me right now, yes or no
Me: (long pause) no...
Mississippi man: ok, my sister will pick up the ring tomorrow. (hangs up phone)
That was it. That was how Shanna Riker broke off her engagement. Part of me wanted to jump for joy and scream "free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I am free at last." Part of me wanted to ball my eyes out for no apparent reason. Part of me wanted to email Scottish Guy and tell him the news. Part of me just wanted to talk to my mama and daddy. So... I did all of those things. I shouted, I cried, I called my parents, and I emailed Scottish Guy.
And this is the story of how I ended up with a custom made wedding dress, still to this day hanging in my closet, laughing at me. I have tried to sell it, but it has been a no go. So maybe one day I will make a quilt out of my almost, but thank God it didn't happen wedding.
Tomorrow, more romantic endeavers with the Scottish Guy.