An anxious heart

What am I , nuts? It suddenly occured to me that I am going back to Scotland. I am going to find a man that I haven't seen or heard from in six years. Oh my god. What if he doesn't want me? What if I can't find him? What if he's married?
Okay. I just slapped myself across the face, metaphorically of course, and I am better now. Just breath.
My plans are as finalized as they can be. I have plane tickets, hotel reservations, train tickets, and concert tickets. The only thing that I don't currently have is a plan. I have played out this situation over and over again in my head and over the next day or so I plan to share some of them with you. We all want a hollywood ending, a happily ever after, and a part of me, small that it is, knows that this might not happen. I am trying to prepare for anything, good or bad that could arise from me crossing the pond again and trying to find my soulmate.
Situation #1:
I find him in the bar that he works in as I walk in randomly to grab a beer before continuing my search. I go up to the bar and he comes out from the backroom. We make eye contact and we both begin to smile. We chat and he tells me that he is not sure that he can let me back into his life again. I begin to cry and and hand him a detailed itenerary of where I will be for the next few days, and also my New York phone number and address. I leave the bar and go directly to the park where we first kissed. As I am sitting there crying, it begins to snow and I hear someone come up behind me. Without looking, I know it is him as he quickly puts his arms around me. He tells me that he decided he would be foolish not to let me back into his life and we live happily ever after.
situation # 2:
I run into him accidentily as I am going to the theater where we did our show. I literally bump into him as I am going in and he is going out. He sees that it is me, and in a state of shock he kisses me ferociously. Then upon realizing what he has done, he pushes back and stands three feet from me. We stand in complete silence until his girlfriend comes out from the theater and asks him to introduce us. He says that I am just a girl he used to know, introduces me casually and then they walk off with his arm around her. I run to the park where I know he will come looking for me if he wants to find me, I sit on bench and wait. Finally he shows up and tells me that we all make choices in life and he has chosen her. He says that a part of him will always love me, but that he has chosen her.

Now keep in mind that I admit that I am a "terribly hopeless romantic". Obviously I am one with way to much time on her hands. I have played this over and over again in my head, each time with a different ending. Tomorrow I will share a few more of my scenerios, but for now I would like to make a few key points about the two of these.
First of all, am I crazy? Second of all, can I stand a severe broken heart if he says he doesn't want to be with me or will my heart be broken at all? Will it be a dark day or will I find the strengh to see the silver lining in the cloud that is hanging over my head? What if he says yes, and he wants to be with me forever... then what?
Ok my friends, my head is beginning to hurt and starting to spin. Until tomorrow my friends where we will have more scenerios and even more questions.