Well friends, here it is. The day I have been looking forward to with an anxious heart for weeks now. I leave tomorrow so let's all start praying this snow leaves and goes west. I am almost all packed and even though today is really shaping up to not be my day, everything will get done. I will get my currency exchanged, I will pick up my laundry, and everything is fine, right? The last time I went to Scotland, there was a strike in Amsterdam and we were rerouted to London the next day. Then coming home we missed our flight in Amsterdam and had to treck through Minniapalous where we spent the night and then flew to Memphis. This time I have successfully avoided any contact with Amsterdam, so everything will be fine.
I am nervous. I am excited. I am terrified. My sweet friend there has arranged a dinner for me to catch up with all of my friends that I met while I was there. Scottish guy recieved an invite. I hope he comes. I just know that I need to see him again. If he isn't the one then I'll know as soon as I see him. If I am the one, then I think he will know as soon as he sees me. If he shows up with a girlfriend in tow then we might have some tension, but I think all of those little details can be worked out.
I know that today of all days some of you would like to try and talk me out of trying to ensure that I see him. All I ask of you, my faithful followers, is that you keep those thoughts to yourself and send me only encouragement. I know it is asking alot, but right now with the snow looming over me and the bank not being aware of all of my funds, and my laundry not being done yet, and all of the little details, I really just don't need any negativity. I need support and encouragement. I know this is crazy because this is real life and not the silver screen, but there are tons of people in the world who claim that they married their soulmate or they definitely married prince charming. Who is to say that I can't be one of them?
I have written him a letter and in case I don't get to see him I will ask my sweet friend to make sure he gets it when I leave. I just have some things that I need to say to him and if I can't do them in person then I will make sure they get said somehow.
I must leave you now and finish up all of the little details. Wish me luck and I will let all of you know how it goes.
This is Shanna Riker, signing off.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Before happily ever after
Hello friends, I am sorry that I have been away for awhile. I had some friends in town this weekend and I was a bit distracted. Now I am back and ready to continue with my story. I have double checked with my friends and everything is in order. The hotels are booked, the plane tickets are here, the concert tickets are purchased and even the train tickets from city to city have been bought. There is officially no turning back now.
I have decided that it will all work itself out. If I don't see him then at least I will have a wonderful vacation while I am there. I know that at least two of the people that I am friends with in Scotland know where he is and how to find him. Everyone seems hesitant to bring it up and I have the feeling that none of them actually know what happened between us, or else they just aren't talking. One of my dear friends from Scotland has arranged sort of a reunion dinner for me with everyone that is still around the area and I have a feeling that he has been invited. I feel that I will let fate take its course and with a little help from my friends, I feel that I will at least be able to see him again.
Now I have no idea what would actually happen if he told me that yes he still loved me and wanted to be with me. What would we do? Would he move to New York City, or would I stay there? Would we do long distance until we could figure it out? These are the things that you don't see in movies. Before the happily ever after, there has to be some planning, some discussions, some thought. Happily ever after takes some effort, which I am willing to go through if we both want to be together.
I feel that if nothing else, I simply need to see him again. I need to know if I still get all tingly when I see him, and if he still gets all tingly when he sees me. I am certain that I will know just by seeing him whether or not I still have these massive strong feelings for him which I have held on to for all of these long years. I wonder if every scottish guy buys some girl a star. Maybe over there its the equivolent of a class ring or a letterman's jacket. I doubt it and I still feel that it was the most special gift I have ever received and I will be able to cherish forever. Every time that I look at the stars in the night sky, I will remember him and the memories we made together.
I am very excited about my trip, and definitely excited about the possibility of seeing him again and working out all of these feelings that I still have. Today I will leave you with a thought: "Trying to forget someone you have loved is like trying to remember someone you have never met."
I have decided that it will all work itself out. If I don't see him then at least I will have a wonderful vacation while I am there. I know that at least two of the people that I am friends with in Scotland know where he is and how to find him. Everyone seems hesitant to bring it up and I have the feeling that none of them actually know what happened between us, or else they just aren't talking. One of my dear friends from Scotland has arranged sort of a reunion dinner for me with everyone that is still around the area and I have a feeling that he has been invited. I feel that I will let fate take its course and with a little help from my friends, I feel that I will at least be able to see him again.
Now I have no idea what would actually happen if he told me that yes he still loved me and wanted to be with me. What would we do? Would he move to New York City, or would I stay there? Would we do long distance until we could figure it out? These are the things that you don't see in movies. Before the happily ever after, there has to be some planning, some discussions, some thought. Happily ever after takes some effort, which I am willing to go through if we both want to be together.
I feel that if nothing else, I simply need to see him again. I need to know if I still get all tingly when I see him, and if he still gets all tingly when he sees me. I am certain that I will know just by seeing him whether or not I still have these massive strong feelings for him which I have held on to for all of these long years. I wonder if every scottish guy buys some girl a star. Maybe over there its the equivolent of a class ring or a letterman's jacket. I doubt it and I still feel that it was the most special gift I have ever received and I will be able to cherish forever. Every time that I look at the stars in the night sky, I will remember him and the memories we made together.
I am very excited about my trip, and definitely excited about the possibility of seeing him again and working out all of these feelings that I still have. Today I will leave you with a thought: "Trying to forget someone you have loved is like trying to remember someone you have never met."
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